Thursday, July 24, 2014

What am I doing, why do I stumble?

What am I doing? Why do I stumble? I am the first to admit I fell off the food wagon or the food train! And it all tasted good!!! I know I should be remorseful! But I started picking myself up and dusting myself off and starting out again. That is what we do when we stumble right? I notice that when life becomes stressful I fall back on food, yes I am an emotional eater.  I have a compulsive personality, I love food, I am a food addict. But the sad part is that you need food to survive, you have to eat! Its just what we eat that matters! The whys of why I fell off the chuckwagon aren't important what is important is that I realized what I did and I started to change habits again.



I had a wakeup call too!  Those pesky life altering moments, a lot of people wont think that what occurred is life altering but to me it is.  I have developed a hernia, its very small and I want to keep it that way. I need to make changes to lose weight to get the surgery to fix it.  I don't think they heal themselves but maybe I'm wrong?  Its a very scary thought to me to have surgery at all due to the last time I was under the knife I had heart failure.  I love my husband I love my kids and I don't want to leave them, therefor this scares the shit out of me!  This needs to be fixed, now I just have to fix my emotional eating , fix my food addiction and my out of shape commodity body! Progress...small baby steps...moving forward.  Pray for me!