What am I doing, why do I stumble?

What am I doing? Why do I stumble? I am the first to admit I fell off the food wagon or the food train! And it all tasted good!!! I know I should be remorseful! But I started picking myself up and dusting myself off and starting out again. That is what we do when we stumble right? I notice that when life becomes stressful I fall back on food, yes I am an emotional eater.  I have a compulsive personality, I love food, I am a food addict. But the sad part is that you need food to survive, you have to eat! Its just what we eat that matters! The whys of why I fell off the chuckwagon aren't important what is important is that I realized what I did and I started to change habits again.



I had a wakeup call too!  Those pesky life altering moments, a lot of people wont think that what occurred is life altering but to me it is.  I have developed a hernia, its very small and I want to keep it that way. I need to make changes to lose weight to get the surgery to fix it.  I don't think they heal themselves but maybe I'm wrong?  Its a very scary thought to me to have surgery at all due to the last time I was under the knife I had heart failure.  I love my husband I love my kids and I don't want to leave them, therefor this scares the shit out of me!  This needs to be fixed, now I just have to fix my emotional eating , fix my food addiction and my out of shape commodity body! Progress...small baby steps...moving forward.  Pray for me!

Anti-Chub Rub!

What is a problem that chubby people have when we work out? Chub rubbing, chaffing, fire!!! I have come across a product I'm calling my antichub rub!  Body Glide Anti Chafe Balm! Non staining ! This stuff is great you rub it on your rubbing parts and it coats your flesh and keeps irritation to a minimum.  And it doesn't stain your clothes! Pretty excited to tell people try this! It glides on smooth! Well worth the price which wasn't much!

Walking hand in hand!

Great night walked 1 mile with my love! #Antichubclub in effect! It's the small steps right! Ohhh My God!!! I'm down 2 lbs woohoo! It doesn't seem like much too many people but when I have the health issues I have it's a great feat! Plus they say slow and gradual is best to minimize saggy skin! Got to keep sags to a minimum! Because I'm in #sexybeastmode ! 

Laugh a little!

This was me today after a few crunches! I know it will take more than that but I still check I think my progress will sneak up and surprise me! I got in over 4000 steps 2 miles! Woot woot!! It's small to some but a lot when your hauling near 400 lbs around! My walk / jog or "waog" yesterday killed my feet gonna have some killer tough feet soon much to the despair of my pedicure lady! Blister could be my nickname today or ow!ow!ow! Haha! My ankle did ok on these walks I just don't want to push it over the edge! But onward blisters and all we march towards progress! #Antichubclub #BringingSexyBackOneStepAtATime👟👟 #sexybeastmode #fitbit # Dont Be A Meow!!!!🐱 

Anti-Chub Club The Beginning!!!

Introductions are in order, because I know right now no one knows me! I am mysterious!  My name is Dulcie and I am starting my fitness journey to become healthier to be part of the Anti-Chub Club. What is the Anti-Chub Club you ask?  This club has one member currently, me, I need to fight my chub!  My club of one is going to do walking, changing eating habits and attitudes about food and exercise to begin living a longer healthier life.  What is Chub?(Mind out of the gutters!) Chub is my chubby, my friend, my spare tire, my love handles, my constant companion for the majority of my life, my belly! And the bigger I have gotten other various parts have also gotten chubby! Arms, legs, face, fingers, etc... the list goes on and on!  I am a 40 year old woman, I am married, raising two teenagers, I work full time and I have the busy life most of us have.

I have through the years been battling the chub! But I have issues that others know nothing about, they think I have a fork issue and that I just really love food and eating,  and not working out.  In reality I have a health issue, hashimoto's thyroiditis, that I have been battling for 20 years.  When I first started having thyroid issues at age 20, I was a slim, in shape, 148lb woman, getting ready to enter the USMC OCS, running many miles a day, doing pushups and sit-ups, gung-ho for what life had in store for me.  Then my diagnosis was given, low and behold my life spiraled out of control, my future was pulled from my grasp and denied me forever. (I received the dreaded Medical Disqualification from Military Service)  My dream was a for a military career, that was what all my focus and training had been geared towards, when I lost that dream I lost that drive.  

I became lost with no focus for my future, I was still functioning as an adult, working, dating, living, but watching my thyroid beginning to taking over my life.  Watching the loss of muscle tone, the low metabolism, the lack of energy, and the overwhelming hunger.  I watched the pounds start to add up on the scale.  I went to the specialists, endocrinologists, surgeons, but in 20 years I have seen the pounds add up, the metabolism go to nothing, and the medications not work.  

I had maintained for a period in my 20's, not going completely overboard, working out, I was at 250lbs, I still had a lot of confidence that I was sexy, so much so I became a plus size model while I lived in Minneapolis.  I did that for a number of years.  But when 30 came so did a lot of changes.  I moved back home to Montana, I went from a huge city to a small town but I didn't let that stop me.  I started graduate school and tried to take control of my life.  But as I gained control in other areas my thyroid still wasn't under control.  

My weight continued to rise on that scale, I became sedentary, I didn't want to work out anymore! Why should I?  My dating pool went down the crapper.  It takes a confident man to date a bigger woman, not a lot of confidence was abound in my little town.  Then in 2007 I had an accident, I broke my ankle in several places and I broke my leg.  After 4 titanium screws and 2 surgeries and a year in a wheel chair I was able to start moving around more.  But guess what came with bed rest, you guessed it more pounds!

After all of that I was starting to move around more, hauling more around with me. I started having a lot of stress in my life and in 2009 it caught up with me and I took a blow to my health.  I had a rare condition occur called Broken Heart's Syndrome, stress induced heart failure that mimics a heart attack!  Can you believe it, I didn't know I could hurt myself by holding myself together in stressful situations.  What could be so stressful you ask? Well I was taking care of my mom who was battling terminal cancer, I was taking care of my younger brother, the finances, the house and trying to work and go to graduate school all at the same time I didn't have time to be sick or stressed.  But the Lord said sit back appreciate life and the time you have with those you love.  Slow down.  I had a minor gall bladder surgery and my heart stopped on the table.  I figured out a valuable lesson, life is short live it to the fullest, love hard you never know when the day is going to be your last.  Appreciate time with family, and try to live in a good way appreciating what the Lord has blessed you with.   I learned my health is important, and that even though I was chubby I had clean arteries, thank god for that.

I went home from that and began walking and lowering my salt and food intake and I dropped some weight. About 2 weeks into being home, I reconnected with a old college classmate, who months later became my fiancé and by years end my husband. (That is a story for another day! Its a beautiful story!)  By 2010 I had gained back what I lost, you know what they say you find love , happiness and pounds.  My husband has never pressured me to be skinny or lose weight , he has encouraged me in all things, but I know he wants me to be around and healthy.  He also is battling the chub, but his story is his own to tell.

I hit a rock bottom point recently which is what is inspiring me to write this blog.  I stepped on the scale at the hospital and what stared back at me was frightening, it said 400lbs ( my mom used to say if I reached 350 I was a heifer and she should take me out and butcher me up!) That scale weight made me cry, I kept saying I'm a heifer, take me out and shoot me!  My loving husband said do something about it, quit complaining, quit giving excuses and do it for yourself and be here for me.  So that is when the solution came, do it by small changes make an effort, but live life still.  I will have ups and downs I will fall and have to dust myself off. But I will make this journey over rocky terrain, I will beat this chub one pound at a time.  Who is with me? One pound at a time!